Colemanisms

My little SERIOUS buddy has been cracking me up lately!  This kid is pretty serious, so that makes these little conversations very funny to me! 

We were at the grocery store where he acted pretty good but had to have some warnings.  At the check-out, I gave him 50 cents to buy a tattoo, but when we got into the car he was having some serious attitude so I told him he did not get the tattoo until he earned it, by making good choices this evening.
We were doing math in the car. 

M: "What is 5 take away 1?"
C: "5 take away 1 plus 4."  (He is confused and says plus instead of equals, and gets sick of me correcting him.)
M: "That's right!  But say 'Equals 4,' not Plus 4."
C: "No PLUS 4."
M: "No Buddy."
C: "Mommy!  That's how you say it in Spanish!!!"
M: "Since when do you know Spanish?"
C: "Well I know that one word.  And I know amigos."
M: "Oh yeah?  Ok.  What does amigos mean?"
C: "It means Bye!  ...Mommy, what if you walked to Colorado?"
M: "Well that would probably take a year."
C: "What about Lubbock?"
M: "That would take a few months.  Why?  Do you think I should walk to Lubbock?"
C: "Well you should because you're talkin so nice of it."
M: "You are cracking me up." (I've been laughing during most of this conversation.)
C: (Very serious) "So can I have my tattoo earned because I'm being pretty funny now?"


On Sunday while driving, Jeff and I were having a conversation about a couple we know who has the same first name, Shannon.  I jokingly told Jeff that if we were both named Shannon, I would make him change his name before we got married. 
...we were debating what he would change his name to.
M: "Or just Shane.  That's not too much of a change from Shannon."
J: "Shane would be good, that's a nice name."
C: "Or Awesome."
M:  {side-eye to Jeff, realizing kids were listening right along to us} "Yeah, Awesome's a good name."
C: "Can I change my name?"
M: "You want to change your name?  Awesome Peck.  That sounds cool."
C: "No, I mean Dude."
M: "Dude Awesome or Awesome Dude?"
C: "Dude Awesome."
M: "Ok, Dude Awesome Peck."
C: (grinning) "Mommy will you tell everybody?"

Then Tuesday, again in the car, on the way to Coleman's t-ball game:
C: "Mommy, instead of the Peck family, let's call our family the Sport family."
Shelb: "Oh yeah!!"
C: "Because we both play sports."
S: "Yeah and Mommy plays Tennis. " (Random!  Tennis is one sport I've NEVER played!)
M: "Shelby I have never played tennis.  I do like softball and volleyball, and exercising."
S: "I could have sworn you played tennis with Daddy before I was born!  At that place where we play on the playground by Nonnie's house."
M: "Ok, maybe once.  So...Coleman Sport."
C: "No my name's not Coleman!!!"
M: "Oh yeah, Dude Awesome Sport."
C: "No!  Dude Awesome Sport Peck!"